Have you ever had a girl that you liked and she turned out to be a gamer. To some people this sort of circumstance seems like a dream come true. Naturally, when there is a girl you’re into who likes video games your first instinct is to want to play a game with her. This is all good and especially if she knows you in person, she is probably going to want to play with you too. However, if you don’t play your cards right, over time she might start avoiding you and you might ask yourself why if things once seemed A-okay. It is all too common for guys who are trying to win a girl gamers affection to just simply start saying the wrong things. Saying the wrong things tend to come a cliché to gamer guys trying to pick up on the video game loving females. Unfortunately, sometimes these slogans will be the things that make your interest not all that interested in you. So, which statements are best avoided when trying to pick up on a girl who loves video games?
“I let you win.”
There are so many problems with this statement it’s hard to find a place to start. First of all, saying something like this is implying that under every circumstance you would beat her (even if you are joking or trying to flirt with her). She most likely does not want to feel like the inferior gamer and saying something like this implies that you feel you are better than her no matter the context you meant it. A girl does not want to feel like in order for her to actually win a game that you have to ‘let her’. This is a sure fire way to dig your own grave. Even if you are trying to flirt with the girl there is a constant negative vibe by the saying “I let you win.” If she is a real gamer she wants to feel good at the games that she is playing and doesn’t mind a little friendly competition so whether you or she wins the most important thing to do is have fun playing together. You won’t be the first guy who tries this one on her, she will probably laugh it off to your face but find it very annoying in the back of her mind… this is something you don’t want. There is never a reason to taunt her.
“You’re never online.”
One thing you should realize about some girl gamers right now is the fact that we can get to points where we are bombarded by messages and game invites when all we really want to do is play whatever we are playing. It is a common thing for girls to play offline or even appear offline to control the amount of messages they get while playing. We don’t want to be mean and ignore the friends on our list so appearing offline tends to be an easy innocent escape. With this statement, first of all, she will be upset at the fact that you don’t feel she is a big enough gamer to play all the time when really she may be playing more than you think. Secondly, it is never a good idea to let her notice that you are keeping that close of an eye on her. Odds are she will think you noticing the amount of time she plays and does not play is more creepy than appealing. If she is online and to you it seems like it’s been a while, avoid telling her that she’s never there and above all one party/ game invite or message is enough to catch someone’s attention; she will never need more than one to notice you.
“It’s okay, you tried.”
Everyone has their good and bad days while gaming. The last thing you want to do is point out if she happens to be at the bottom of the score board. Just like every other gamer out there chances are your girl wants to be on the top of the score board and if she’s not she doesn’t want to hear about it. Even if your words seem re-encouraging at the time she might feel that you are making fun of her or that you feel that she is simply not good at the game instead of had a bad run. Anything like “its okay you tried” or “We’ll get em next time.” sounds nice but the way sayings like these are taken by a female might not always work in your favor. The best thing to do when the girl you are after isn’t doing well is to ignore it unless she mentions it herself. If she says she played horrible herself then the best thing for you to do is roll with the conversation without agreeing or disagreeing. Girls are tricky creatures.
“You’re the best at this game/ I can’t believe how good you are/ Wow, that was an amazing kill/ I wish I were as good as you” & ect
Compliments, compliments, compliments… whatever you do don’t over compliment the girl on how she’s doing in the game. If she is doing well she most likely knows it and one or two little compliments will do the trick. Sometimes girls run into guys who just won’t quite with the compliments and things go from feeling proud about the game she is playing to feeling annoyed with who she is playing with. To go along with compliments things like, “I have never seen a girl as good as you.” also don’t fly to well as she most likely does not want to be compared to all other female gamers as if they are a species. One or two compliments will win you some good points in her book but use them to your advantage don’t use them to try and snag her attention every two seconds. She can only say thank you so many times until things get awkward. Too many compliments will make her want to leave the game not make her want to stay. Compliments can be your best friend as long as they aren’t your go-to way to fill strange silences.
“You don’t look like a gamer.”
This is a big one because most every real girl gamer knows that girls who play games come in every shape, size and color. It is society and the gaming community that try to fit girls who game into some kind of cookie cutter mold. If you are going after a girl that doesn’t seem nerdy, is thin or enjoys wearing nice clothes and make-up that doesn’t mean she is not a gamer and it doesn’t mean you need to point out the fact that you believe gamers should look a certain way. If you feel that she does not look like a gamer it is likely that she receives some hate from the community for being a ‘fake gamer’ even if that isn’t who she is. Even walking into the game section at stores or simply into a GameStop she might get this sort of statement. When your girls a gamer she will be proud of that fact and she will want to fit in with the people that she has common interests as. If you feel the need to travel this road it would be beneficial if you told her she was pretty more so than she doesn’t look like a gamer.
Although girls sound complicated girls can be easy to get along with; especially the lovely ladies who are cool enough to enjoy video games. If you play it cool, keep the compliment count low and appreciate her for exactly who she is then you will probably end up in the right position with whoever you might be trying to impress. Be confident and everything will be okay!