*Spoiler Alert: upon reading the title of the game in this list below, beware of spoilers. If you read the title of the game and do not wish to view any spoilers for that particular game please read with caution.*
Gaming is really no place for sex. Some games have attempted to make the act seem normal but in gaming things pretty much turn out more awkward and uncomfortable than it does turn out to be beautiful and seamless. There is plenty of mature content in gaming, even implying sexual advances but none of that is as uncanny as it is to see to virtual characters in ‘the act’. There have been a lot of games that have attempted to make this seem normal but something about it remains not quite right. Out of the games that have tried to create this natural human function in their virtual worlds, which games have made gamers feel the most uncomfortable?
There is nothing weirder than a woman forcing a man into sex. Sie in Alpha Protocol has a strange attraction to the protagonist. In a scene toward the end of the game she forces the man into sex while he is tied to a table. This circumstance was one of the strangest scenes in gaming as a whole not just the strangest sex scene that we could come up with. It is unbelievable how she forces the man into doing it for her own twisted desires. This situation is one of those times where players ask themselves, “What the F*ck?” She continues to approach the character no matter what the player forces him to say. This unavoidable sex with Sie is odd, it is uncomfortable and almost unfathomable and yet the game still tries to pull it off. Talk about leaving players with bad thoughts in their mind.
This list would be nothing without including Mass Effect. The series of Mass Effect is renowned for being a great game but it can also be considered to be known for odd sex. This is a game that allows players to follow different romances which oftentimes leads to sex between two characters; no matter how odd the partnership may seem. Picking just one sex scene from this game would make our fans revote by saying another is strangest so we figured we would just group them all into one. Weather it is plain old sex, gay or lesbian sex or human on alien; Mass Effect has got it all. So whatever floats your boat or whatever turns your stomach in terms of sex scenes Mass Effect has most likely got it.
Red Dead Redemption
A serious game like Red Dead Redemption is really no place for awkwardly timed sex. When John Marston makes his way to Mexico there is a scene that pops up so unexpectedly and so random where John witnesses Abraham Reyes having sex with a woman on the kitchen table. What makes this moment so strange is the fact that it is very unexpected. John treats the situation like a gentlemen like one would predict from him but that doesn’t make the situation any less weird for the player. Upon opening the door no one would have guessed what was behind it. Abraham follows the unexpected act by tossing the woman aside and slightly pushing her out of the room. This is not only awkward for John but it is weird for the player and unfortunate for the poor woman involved.
There is a sex scene in the PlayStation exclusive game Heavy Rain. This game is a game that takes unfortunate to a new level but follows a great plot line and does a wonderful job on character building. There is a point where the protagonist, Ethan Mars, is having an intimate moment with a woman named Madison Paige in which he is interested in. The two proceed to lead up to actions that they will be sleeping together but the process of getting there is what is so weird for the player. The game prompts button combos to pull off some of the intimate moves like kissing or removing clothing. If the player messes up the button combos then the characters will stop doing the actions and reverse what was done. If the player felt like it they could take Madison’s top off and slid it back on then take it back off again with the characters not showing any awkwardness in their expression. Getting through this scene while messing up (accidental or on purpose) provides more of a laugh than feels romantic. And to top it off Ethan is missing a finger…
Far Cry 3
Far Cry 3 has two endings, the one where you save your friends, escape the island, living happily ever after and the one where you stay with Citra and have sex with her. If you choose to stay with Citra you will get an ending where Citra is having sex with you. It is in first person which is even more awkward than most other sex scenes in gaming and the sounds that the characters are making are not all that pleasant. If watching and listening to that wasn’t bad enough, it is all the worse when Citra stops straddling you to kill you. Let’s hope the sex was worth it for you Jason because all she wanted was for you to bang her so she could have your child as a new ‘warrior’. What’s more awkward, the strangeness of the sex or the fact that she kills you right after she’s finishes?